Dear friends, most welcome for this fall's maybe -
- most important premiere of the film "Veni, Vidi, Vici".
You'll see something unique; like an auteur movie.
A masterpiece by an instructor, who can produce basically everything.
But you won't hear me speak.
Give a resounding applause to film director Karsten Daugaard.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, dear friends.
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
Nå... Yes, I'm finally here -
- as an instructor and scriptwriter of -
- my latest movie "Veni, Vidi, Vici" -
- that I am very, very proud of.
It actually followed me night and day for over ten years.
It's a movie, about a man who falls -
- but who rises again.
He comes back victoriously through fire and water -
- to finally win the battle.
It actually fills my entire heart.
It is, as we say in Danish ...
... my 'heartchild'.
Yeah okay. Let's go.
It's better if I'm not in the hall.
I'll stay here.
Quite honestly.
Give me a some life for God's sake!
What the hell was that? - I was completely embarrassed.
- It is a shame. I do like him. - What has he been doing?
I even read the script. But it was not good either.
- Did they ask you? - Yes.
Are you kidding me? You must be happy that you said no.
How do you earn money by such a thing?
Pretentious piss!
- What should you say to him? - Say it, as it is.
Piss is fucking piss.
- We should probably say it as it is. - We would do the world a favor.
- Now what? Should we have a drink? - Yes, we must at least have one.
Hello boys
Hello. Did you sit in there?
Yes, I sat right in there.
Thanks! Thanks for the movie.
I'm impressed by it, how you put it all together
It is really fun.
Yes, the sound was good.
- Have you started working out? - No.
You look pretty fit.
It was quite fun.
And that was a cool title. "Vedi ..."
- "Veni, Vidi, Vici." - Exactly!
- "I came, I saw, I conquered." - People would like to watch it.
- Would you like to have a drink? - No, I have to take care of my family.
- Fine. - Good to see you.
Fuck.
Honey? Breakfast is ready.
Have the newspapers come?
Veni, Vidi, Vici I came, I saw, I left
There is a party at Erik and Lotta's tonight.
Should we bring wine and flowers?
A bottle of wine is enough.
Damn!
What's the matter with dad?
The film was criticised.
Oh no.
"The instructor's ambition was to tell an epic love story -
- according to himself."
"But the ambition became in the name of honesty not much more -
- than the now epic last picture: a pile of stool. "
The worst reviews I've ever seen.
I think, that there are some good things in the movie.
Yes, actually some pretty good things.
Listen up. We two are dinosaurs.
We have produced dramas about people with emotions.
But today people want breasts and asses.
Stay-at-home wives stripping. Viewers want people who shop for food -
- and choose the right cucumber. Things that we cannot produce.
So I have to put your next project in standby.
I do not earn a krone after these reviews.
Not even one.
We get rejections from the institute and tv.
Everyone will say no.
Listen up. We made a deal -
- that we should produce the next movie together.
Yes, but the situation has changed, Karsten.
If you had been a woman, I could have played a gender quota.
But we don't even have that. Right now it's completely dead.
Do something else. Do call. Do not forget your jacket.
Is there no possibility to ...?
No...
I think, that we should do something together.
Yes, we really should.
Karsten? Come.
Wake up now. It's just a movie. Pull yourself together.
Karsten! Cigars?
- Karsten? - No, I have my e-cigarettes.
Okay.
- Do you like them? - They're pretty good.
I do not cough so much.
Are you okay? You seem a little down.
Down?
I'm not down. What do you mean by that?
- Didn't your movie just premiere? - Premieres are just premieres.
I do not read all the reviews -
- but the one I saw, might not have been too friendly.
No but...
I do not read reviews.
We should do something, that activates us.
- Should we go to yoga? - Gladly.
- It would be fun. - It's a good idea.
In order for you to earn money by the movie -
- it has to be an audience success, right?
I hope people won't watch it.
But you have no clue. Isn't it hard?
What about a regular job -
- where you get money on your account every month?
I'm an artist.
Being an artist does not equal fixed monthly wages.
No, but isn't it boring to never have any money?
- What do you mean? "I heard, that Jonna pays everything.
- Where did you hear that? - Somebody said it.
It's not true.
- It's not true at all. - Hi.
Have we missed something?
We are talking about art.
I was watching that, Jonna.
We must talk.
You know I've talked about starting my own business.
Now I've decided to do it.
- To start your own? - I have quit my job.
Do you want some?
What's the problem then?
It will be hard for a while.
- You do understand that. Economically. - Yes.
I actually have an amazing idea for a manuscript.
A five-year plan is the last thing we need right now.
- Five-year plan? "We must be realistic.
I will need your help from now on.
That is equally as clear as snot in ryebread porridge.
What? Ryebread porridge?
That's just something we say in Danish. A funny expression.
I have talked to my father -
- and he might have a job for you.
I should work with your father?
Damn. Miserable duck.
Karsten, I want to make one thing clear to you.
The fact is that Jonna provides you with care.
And she has done that for a long time.
You may think, that I'm old fashioned -
- but it seems wrong.
What do you think?
You do not think anything as usual.
I am a film artist. I am an instructor.
I'm work with movies ...
Karsten, you do not have what it takes to be a film director.
If you don't get that, you're not only naive -
- but also really stupid.
Shit.
Please warn me next time.
What kind of role model are you to Sam?
A father who lays around at home -
- and does not contribute a krone to the common household.
- Jonna wants to start her own. - Yes I know.
That's my girl. Assiduous.
So I want you to take responsibility, gear up, -
- and earn some money. Do we agree?
Yes...
Then I have an offer for you.
I want you to work at Eko-Gris.
- At Eko-Gris? - I have an open position.
I think you should accept the offer. What do you think?
I am educated at the Danish film school.
As a film director. I'm not a butcher.
- Yeah, but... - He probably pays well.
Everything is not about money.
- Then what is it about? - About my pride, right?
"It's about my pride."
- Should we move now? - Move? Why?
Father does not earn any money -
- and you are starting your own.
Then we can't afford staying.
- We won't move. - No.
You have to start working now.
It's not the end of the world to work with something else than films.
- It's Karsten. - Hi. How are you?
I'm fine ...
Listen up. Have you watched the new Danish crime series?
- It's called "Englene"? - "Englene"?
Yes, my wife watches it often.
Perfect. Listen up. The instructor, who had to instuct the first episodes ...
Something has happened. He is not a part of it.
I have said that you are free to do it. Can you be in Malmö one o'clock?
I'll just check if I have time.
Yes, I can find time for it.
You're going to meet one of the producers. He is conservative and old-fashioned.
Put some nice clothes on. Take the scooter.
You mustn't be late.
Remember that you are the great amazing instructor.
You are worth a million dollars. It's on now, honey. Hello.
It's all turning around now. Damn.
It's probably a little like Peter Sellers in "The Party".
When he was thrown out.
They claimed that he would never get a job in showbusiness again.
And he asks: "Does that cover television?"
Fantastic. A moment. Karsten, we're in here to the right.
- Where are you? "I'll be an hour late.
Something has happened. Maybe more than an hour.
Just a moment. I just have to answer this.
What are you saying? You promised to be here.
I have fought to give you this chance. Where are you?
Listen up.
Well ...
I can not come.
Why not? Come on.
You just have to come and smile and tell him how great you are.
- Is that so difficult? Come on. - Listen.
I understand, but I look like shit.
It's not possible.
Listen. I do not care at all...
Hello? Damn it.
We have a little problem.
Yes, but a pool in the living room is not quite ...
It is a housing association ... Yes, but it's not that easy.
Thanks. Is it possible to have a pool in the living room?
What a silly idea. What is this?
- My goodness. - What is it?
No, it's just ...
- Tell me now. - It's Tobbe, my new guy.
He sends these ...
- He sends dick pics. - Dick pics?
- Do not you know what it is? - No.
Isn't it nice? You do not see that very often, do you?
- Do you? - Stop it. Hello.
What do you think about Ralf?
I will miss you.
- Why do you want to start your own? - It's terrifying.
But I have now taken the step.
Yes...
Big tie, big ego.
- Hello? - Karsten, what's up?
- Hello? - It's me. Vinny.
- Vinny? - Yes. What's up fool?
What the hell?
- What kind of job is it? - I have no idea.
But it is with guarantee ten times better than working for your father.
Is he a film producer? And will he work with you?
Yes, we went to the film school together, but he went straight to Hollywood.
For 20 years, but now he's home in Scandinavia again.
We were like this at the film school. We trusted each other 100 percent.
Now the bus is running. Now it's really going.
Do I look nice? Honey, I love you.
See you!
No, he's gay.
- John Travolta? - He's gay.
- Tom Cruise? - He's also gay.
- Tom Hanks? - He's gay.
Do you know the guy, who plays president ...?
Vinny, please stop.
You're spoiling my big dream about all the stars over there. Listen.
- Did it taste good? - Yes, it tasted great.
Wasn't it amazing?
Hollywood Boulevard, Highway One -
- and freshly squeezed juice.
Our first film at the film school. "Titanikon".
Yes, that you instructed.
We took a piss on the shitty "Titanic".
But now you have become more serious. It's completely fine.
- Good times. - Yes.
I miss that time.
- Yes, who doesn't? - Listen, Karsten.
You are a creative son of a bitch. You always have been.
But you are an eagle. You are not a seagull.
You are an eagle. You need space to spread your wings.
Otherwise you can not fly. You'll fall.
You will never get that in Sweden.
What is your movie about? "Vici, Vici, Vici."
- "Veni, Vidi, Vici." - Sorry.
- Have you watched my movie? - You can trust me on that one.
In the cinema on the big screen. Do you know what I saw?
I saw your fantastic, wonderful, big, beating, ingenious heart -
- just as I remember it from the film school.
I missed you Vinny.
I missed you too. Do you know what you've missed too?
Something that I can give you. Progress. Success.
Do you understand?
Therefore, I want you to work with me in Copenhagen
You just tell me what to do. Hopefully it isn't tv.
Is there something wrong?
- Can you feel it? - What?
My chakra. Can you feel the vibration?
- Your chakra? - The energy. Can you feel it?
Karsten, I'm messing with you. - God damn it!
- Tell me now ... - You'll see. Can I have the bill?
What kind of movie is it?
Taxi!
Taxi...
You won't get any that way. You have to say "taxa". Taxa!
Here it is. We just have to clean up.
There are incredible opportunities.
It is a thousand square metres. There's 13 meters to the ceiling.
- There is room for cranes. - Can you afford this? Fantastic.
Vincent?
I'll make movies again.
I'm going to make movies that my audience has never seen the like of now.
I will emotionally indulge them.
- I am a film director again. - Exactly.
You know what?
I have a friend in Malmø.
I promised him a carburetor from a quern that I have in L.A.
The one I sent by mail did not come.
- Can you give it to him? - Of course.
- There is no coke in it, right? - Coke?
- There are no drugs in it, right? - Of course there is.
I am joking with you. Shall we enter?
Yes. I am looking forward to seeing it.
Okay. Are you ready? Dream Factory.
Holy shit.
Hello friends.
This is Nuuk.
This is Karsten.
- Is he from Greenland? - I think so.
I don't understand what he says, but he is great to work with.
Over there we have Lothar, resting.
We should not wake him up. He needs his beauty sleep.
Suzy.
She is new and magnificent.
- Suzy, this is Karsten. - Hi. I've heard a lot about you.
Everyone loves your movie. Many people speak well about you.
Thank you.
Vinny, hello.
Dallas, that's Karsten.
- Are you American? - No, I'm as Danish as one can be. Like you.
Karsten Daugaard. It is quite Danish.
Did it all work out with the stage? - Yes.
We're waiting for Georgina to call it a day.
I could even make a close-up just after the first scene.
That's because I'm on a diet. Raw egg yolks and Tabasco.
It going great.
- Raw egg yolks? - Yes, and Tabasco.
Dallas is a method actor.
The Niro-style. He goes all the way.
Yes, that's the way it is. It just works out.
- Can I just talk to you? - Yes of course.
- Is everything alright? - Yes.
What's up?
I have not told Karsten, what we do.
Not too many details. We have to give him some time.
- So keep a low profile. - Okay.
I arranged the delivery, so it will not be delayed now.
- Go visit your mother at the hospital. - How awesome.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Hello. This is Lene. Our darling and favorite star.
Karsten. I loved your "Veni, Vidi, Vici".
It will be cool to work with you
- Have you watched it? - I downloaded it on the Pirate Bay.
Is it already downloaded ...?
You're a star, honey.
Tell him, how you like to work
I'm trying to be the person. I give and accept.
I like, when you give me a look.
Nice look, right?
Honey!
I'm going home. Are there any groceries I should get?
- Coconut water ... - I have no money.
Can we talk about last week's salary?
Okay.
- Say goodbye to mom. - I love you.
- Goodbye, everyone. - Bye.
This is how we work.
Georgina.
Okay. Now you'll see.
It's probably itchy in your instructor soul.
Okay. Here you go.
Vinny, I'd like to talk to you.
- Come here. - You look amazing.
Cock'n'roll, for fucks sake. Karsten, what is it?
What the hell is going on?
What the hell is going on? It's porn.
- What did you think? - Porn is not going to do it. I am an artist.
Then bring your art here.
I have wealthy men in my back.
They trust you, because I trust you.
You decide the story, and what movie you want to record.
35 mm or 16 mm. And you will earn a lot of money.
- I'll give you 25000 now. - Fuck you Vinny!
Subtitles by Christian Lønsman Larsen